Sofia Bothwell

So, to be a writer you have got to write. Luckily for me I have always loved writing; from I was a little girl at school and given a story to write and a picture to draw about that story, to now, writing self-help books and novels. The inspiration strikes and you cannot help but write. It feeds you to write when you love to write, just like it feeds you when you actually paint and you love painting.  The reason I mention this is that it is a little known fact that one must do what one loves. If you love to fish, then fish, make time for it, gather the equipment, learn the knowledge, hang out with fishermen. You get the picture. It is not rocket science. To avoid this is disastrous (another seemingly little known fact) because you will always feel something is missing. Something important only to you, and this is when the addictions and overeating kick in, for it is painful to know there is this lack in your life. Maybe you do not even know what you are interested in, or would like ...

 We all want, consciously or sub consciously, to be seen and heard. Being seen and heard is a natural aspect of life. Especially for children, to be seen and heard is so vitally important that I cannot stress it enough. Being seen and heard is being accepted and loved. Being seen and heard is the foundation of good health and well-being. Good communication stems from this basic fact. Healthy self-acceptance and good emotional and mental health also stem from this. If you were not seen or heard in your childhood the healing must begin with yourself. Start by looking in the mirror, keeping eye contact with yourself and repeating - Your name, I love and accept you just as you are right now. This will help unearth the pain of being criticised and ignored. Release the pain when the tears flow and beating the pillows when anger arises. These actions are only starting points that will facilitate great change in your life. Addictions will be easier to handle and your healing journey has ju...

 Staying in London again for a few days of late October sunshine, I am once again reminded of the beauty and diversity of this cosmopolitan city. It's life and vibrancy are second to none. It is a joy for me to stay here in Wood Green, North London, a Greek, Turkish, Asian community that exudes warmth and a toughness that is humble and real, born no doubt from much risk and failure mixed in with the success of the families that moved here generations ago to open small grocery stores or restaurants, launderettes and kebab houses and they flourish today. It's in the air, making something from nothing. A pita bread filled with humous and salad is still the freshest and cheapest way to fuel yourself in lunchtime London for yet more walking. Walking is a great way to absorb the vibe and feel connected to this life that is so throughly amazing, it never ceases to amaze me how I landed here as a twenty year old Irish immigrant and  stayed for twelve years. A fluke decision brought me...

 When we realise that many things have symbolic meaning for us, we can start to unravel what the deeper meaning is, and also gain clarity as to what it is that is going on as regards those things that have symbolic meaning for us.  For example, a certain car can mean status. It says to all who see it - I've made it. Whether you have or not is the deeper issue and what 'made it' constitutes for you also is the deeper issue. You may be able to afford a fancy car but how are your relationships with your children and spouse? Have you 'made it' there? There is layer upon layer of meaning to things and most folk don't want to go there, unless they have an interest in psychology or positive thinking and the like. However people are often forced to go there and learn the skill of such self-reflection simply out of necessity. After all we may not want to take the time and effort to learn how to cook but we realise in the long run it is a life skill that will become autom...

I could speak for hours on this topic of eating when full. It is the fundamental aspect of eating to be healed.  I have called my work 'Healing the Eating Habit' and it is true that the habits of eating we develop for a variety of reasons, determine whether we are fat or slim.  Our eating habits certainly contribute to good health or bad health.  To a greater or lesser extent the health of the kidneys, heart, pancreas, skin and mind are determined by the type and amount of foods we eat. So not only is our weight affected by our food intake but also our overall health.  We all know what foods are 'good foods' and what foods are 'bad foods.' We all know when we are over eating. So why is it so hard to stop when full and consume the 'right' foods and beverages? Enter emotions into the equation and you have your answer! Unresolved emotional issues to be exact! We have our clues now - Eating when full is linked to emotional issues. The compulsive eater eats t...

 Something that has always fascinated me is the concept that living in a tribe, or living communally would be a great way to live.  A mother and father living with their offspring, totally devoid of friendship, or human connection except the bare minimum is unhealthy to say the least. Humans need contact, not chained together contact, till death do us part, but real contact of genuine friends. The reasons why many marriages fail is the fact that in the course of being together the unhealed wounds of childhood will surface, and the couple, ill equipped to deal with them crumbles. Few make it to marriage guidance and what statistics there are on the success of that I do not know. What I do know is that 'love brings up anything unlike itself' that means that with great love between the couple, nature is still going to allow the unhealed wounds to surface.  Because this is a little known dynamic in relationships people are freaked out when this occurs. They do not even know w...

 There is an amazing function within the psyche that demands that childhood trauma be cleared. By cleared I mean healed, sorted, dealt with in such a way as to not repeat itself.  How do we know a trauma has been healed? To think about it does not cause pain anymore. In fact, we don't tend to think about it that much for its nasty tendency for popping into our mind has stopped.  Recently there has been a lot of talk about the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard trial and in listening to snippets of it here and there I have noticed the pattern  of Johnny being beaten and verbally abused by his mother and him being beaten and verbally abused by Ms Heard, when they were married. This very public trial is a lesson to us all. And it is this - What is not healed will pop up again in your life. To use alcohol and drugs to deal with it, will not work but will allow the repeat of that 'old wound' to play out in your life.  The awareness of the repetition of the old trauma is a s...