Sofia Bothwell

The unhealed human Sometimes I am talking to an adult and I see their unhealed state, the childish reaction, or a reaction that is clearly an old script born out of negative repetition or trauma. I see the unhealed wound that is literally running their lives. This is why it is so important to ‘work on yourself’ - to be aware of your unhealed aspects because as long as they are unhealed they will cause lack in your life, lack of love, lack of peace. They will cause your bad habits and your addictions. Heal that deeper wound and you will have a better life that is of benefit to the community, not just a greedy unhelpful existence. Check out my book Addiction Demystified from Lulu on line publishing. Also check out Saturday 1- 5 pm June 27th Healing the Eating Habit Workshop at Moon Women's Health Centre 63 Chetwynd Road London NW5 Booking through mwhealth.co.uk/healing-the-eating-habit/

There is something about having healed a situation or trauma that empowers you.  Maybe you suffered from some abuse for example, a tone of voice or a manner that a parent had that triggers you to this day. If your spouse or a shop assistant or friend even, displays this same behaviour it can be very upsetting for you if you have not healed that original culprit. You may drink or overeat to numb the issue and carry on allowing that person to behave that way, you carry on being around that person never calling out that behaviour that may be rude or abusive to whatever degree. Either way you are  stuck in that situation with that person until you heal the original culprit, the parental behaviour that was your first experience or wounding of that kind.  So through giving up eating when full, drink etc and allowing yourself to be fully aware of how that behaviour makes you feel, if you feel it is abusive or rude or overstepping boundaries and even you may be dismissive of it a...

To give up any addiction successfully you do not have to abstain from the object of your addiction. In other words the first step in giving up any addiction (contrary to popular belief) is not about abstaining from the food when full, the drink or drugs, gambling etc.  The first step in to be AWARE of your pattern of behaviour.  That means you become aware of when the craving kicks in, and you become aware of your thoughts drifting towards indulging in the object of your addiction. You reach out for the glass of wine. You catch yourself arranging to have that cheesecake even though you are physically full. You reach for the cigarette or vape. This awareness then needs to be extended as it were, you need to be aware of how you are doing emotionally at that specific time the craving kicks in. In this awareness of how you feel emotionally comes the  ability to actually find an alternative means of coping with that emotional dilemma other than just suppressing / numbing it wi...

 At the end of another London trip I look back at the memories, sights, experiences and teachings with relish: Form the train to Richmond I see a large fox sitting on the sloping embankment staring towards the trains and I think of the ability to adapt to one's surroundings. The wild fox adapting to city life and thriving, after all, it really takes something to be able to live in London rent free. This tame landscape, moulded and shaped by human hand throughout the centuries. Beautiful iconic statues, fountains and buildings on lay lines of great power. Harrods, Fortnam and Mason etc. The lovely Indian family on the bus to Crouch End. The father answering his daughter's questions with kindness and genuine interest. The mother beaming with love for her child. My heart expanded witnessing such parental love. Again they adapted to being parents and devoting time and energy to their offspring. In contrast I moved train carriages when a father on the tube was trying to control his ...

So, to be a writer you have got to write. Luckily for me I have always loved writing; from I was a little girl at school and given a story to write and a picture to draw about that story, to now, writing self-help books and novels. The inspiration strikes and you cannot help but write. It feeds you to write when you love to write, just like it feeds you when you actually paint and you love painting.  The reason I mention this is that it is a little known fact that one must do what one loves. If you love to fish, then fish, make time for it, gather the equipment, learn the knowledge, hang out with fishermen. You get the picture. It is not rocket science. To avoid this is disastrous (another seemingly little known fact) because you will always feel something is missing. Something important only to you, and this is when the addictions and overeating kick in, for it is painful to know there is this lack in your life. Maybe you do not even know what you are interested in, or would like ...

 We all want, consciously or sub consciously, to be seen and heard. Being seen and heard is a natural aspect of life. Especially for children, to be seen and heard is so vitally important that I cannot stress it enough. Being seen and heard is being accepted and loved. Being seen and heard is the foundation of good health and well-being. Good communication stems from this basic fact. Healthy self-acceptance and good emotional and mental health also stem from this. If you were not seen or heard in your childhood the healing must begin with yourself. Start by looking in the mirror, keeping eye contact with yourself and repeating - Your name, I love and accept you just as you are right now. This will help unearth the pain of being criticised and ignored. Release the pain when the tears flow and beating the pillows when anger arises. These actions are only starting points that will facilitate great change in your life. Addictions will be easier to handle and your healing journey has ju...