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Awareness of the pattern

To give up any addiction successfully you do not have to abstain from the object of your addiction. In other words the first step in giving up any addiction (contrary to popular belief) is not about abstaining from the food when full, the drink or drugs, gambling etc.  The first step in to be AWARE of your pattern of behaviour.  That means you become aware of when the craving kicks in, and you become aware of your thoughts drifting towards indulging in the object of your addiction. You reach out for the glass of wine. You catch yourself arranging to have that cheesecake even though you are physically full. You reach for the cigarette or vape. This awareness then needs to be extended as it were, you need to be aware of how you are doing emotionally at that specific time the craving kicks in. In this awareness of how you feel emotionally comes the  ability to actually find an alternative means of coping with that emotional dilemma other than just suppressing / numbing it wi...
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What are you addicted to?

What are you addicted to? Most people are addicted to something without really knowing what addiction is or how to heal it. Addiction is anything we do to distance us from our feelings and emotional issues. You may binge on chocolate cake after your husband was a bit sharp with you, and not give yourself the time to really ponder the issue at hand. If you instead, catch yourself at the craving stage (maybe just after he has snapped at you) and immediately ask yourself - What feeling is this? And just take a moment to notice what emotions you are feeling, maybe a hint of anger at his response, or a stab of sadness at his words and tone of voice, coupled with a feeling of helplessness as to what to do about it. This leads you deeper into your emotional life, and into the waters of the unknown that often trigger the binge on food / the eating when full that will numb you to the discomfort of these emotions and this issue with your husband. The solution is to follow up with the question...
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The Thing with Addiction

 The thing with addiction is when an unpleasant emotion arises you are focused on feeling better. The panic, the discomfort then the craving to feel better.   When feeling better  becomes your only focus, you are off the mark, on the wrong road so to speak.  Whereas when you know there is a dynamic at play with the arising of an uncomfortable emotion, you are in a more authentic position from which to relate to that emotion. The uncomfortable emotion must be experienced, felt, and gone through in order to get to the feeling better. This going through the uncomfortable emotion is necessary to avoid addiction and also the way to give up addiction. We go through rather than suppress . Why is going through an emotion preferable to suppressing it? Well, when you suppress anything, it gets worse. The uncomfortable emotion looks to an issue in need of resolving. To suppress it is to ignore it, not address it; and we all know that issues ignored or dismissed as unimpo...
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