Is Addiction the Only Problem?

 Addiction is a great big diversion from the underlying story that causes the addiction. What is the story that lies beneath your cravings? Do you know? Are you aware of the threads of instances, the colouring of emotions and the landscape of what was the half remembered past?

Maybe you know what was in your past, those specific traumas that led you so gaily and maybe not no gaily down the road of addiction. The road that was to bring you the highs and lows of any journey taken to be sure, but hollow were those instances of 'high' and oh so real those instances of 'low'. All to be attributed to an aspect of the addiction.

 'It was the drink talking.' So much can be excused by the object of addiction.

 'Alcohol gives me confidence.' So much power can be given to the object of addiction.

'I just had to have that drink.' It becomes the crutch, the support, the friend you never had. And that is just it, that huge emotional gap of what you never had. Is that to run your life from now on? 

 What was it that you never had? Enough love, enough money, enough free time? Enough friends? Did you really ever have your say in the world, in your world?

 'You are stressed, here have a drink.' Here we are, the alcohol providing the answer. Maybe the only answer there is.

 'After the day I had, I need a drink.' The support the comfort. What else could possibly replace such a friend and cohort in this dismal world.

 'The cake was just so delicious, I just had to have another slice.' The high life, restaurants and bars. The night out and the numbing continues.

 'The diet starts tomorrow.' Ah yes, there is the way out. After the over indulgence the austerity - the hated austerity, when faced with the gaping hole of life. Is that the dark night of the soul? I've heard that phrase, almost mainstream now, seeped in from some hippy jargon born in California and such places. The Indian gurus who ventured from East to West bringing their beads and bells and saffron robes and pictures of deities to rival any Catholic Church. And yet it caught on. Yes, that, what do they call it 'spirituality' caught on. The rich kids loved it, knowing that Daddies millions paled desperately in comparison with the inner wealth and riches of the philosophy and teachings of these Indian Mystics and Masters. But I digress.

 'Rehab starts tomorrow.' Another excuse, another avoidance tactic. And so we build our world on never really looking deeper than the surface.

 'Tomorrow I'll go to AA.' And you know even as you say the phrase it is a lie. We will get up and as compulsive eaters stick our hand once again in the cookie jar.

 But my tone is too harsh, too sarcastic, I'll lose my audience if I be so truthful. That is the problem with us 'recovered folk' we become tough, not bitter, but tough. We see, you see. We see through the smoke screen. We don't cough and choke on the smoke. We don't get caught up in the drama of putting the fire out, we just put it out. 

Facebook Sofia Bothwell One to one Skype consultations on addiction recovery and Healing the Eating Habit £45 one hour session

Email Sofia2227@gmail.com


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