Sofia Bothwell

To give up any addiction successfully you do not have to abstain from the object of your addiction. In other words the first step in giving up any addiction (contrary to popular belief) is not about abstaining from the food when full, the drink or drugs, gambling etc.  The first step in to be AWARE of your pattern of behaviour.  That means you become aware of when the craving kicks in, and you become aware of your thoughts drifting towards indulging in the object of your addiction. You reach out for the glass of wine. You catch yourself arranging to have that cheesecake even though you are physically full. You reach for the cigarette or vape. This awareness then needs to be extended as it were, you need to be aware of how you are doing emotionally at that specific time the craving kicks in. In this awareness of how you feel emotionally comes the  ability to actually find an alternative means of coping with that emotional dilemma other than just suppressing / numbing it wi...

 At the end of another London trip I look back at the memories, sights, experiences and teachings with relish: Form the train to Richmond I see a large fox sitting on the sloping embankment staring towards the trains and I think of the ability to adapt to one's surroundings. The wild fox adapting to city life and thriving, after all, it really takes something to be able to live in London rent free. This tame landscape, moulded and shaped by human hand throughout the centuries. Beautiful iconic statues, fountains and buildings on lay lines of great power. Harrods, Fortnam and Mason etc. The lovely Indian family on the bus to Crouch End. The father answering his daughter's questions with kindness and genuine interest. The mother beaming with love for her child. My heart expanded witnessing such parental love. Again they adapted to being parents and devoting time and energy to their offspring. In contrast I moved train carriages when a father on the tube was trying to control his ...

So, to be a writer you have got to write. Luckily for me I have always loved writing; from I was a little girl at school and given a story to write and a picture to draw about that story, to now, writing self-help books and novels. The inspiration strikes and you cannot help but write. It feeds you to write when you love to write, just like it feeds you when you actually paint and you love painting.  The reason I mention this is that it is a little known fact that one must do what one loves. If you love to fish, then fish, make time for it, gather the equipment, learn the knowledge, hang out with fishermen. You get the picture. It is not rocket science. To avoid this is disastrous (another seemingly little known fact) because you will always feel something is missing. Something important only to you, and this is when the addictions and overeating kick in, for it is painful to know there is this lack in your life. Maybe you do not even know what you are interested in, or would like ...

 We all want, consciously or sub consciously, to be seen and heard. Being seen and heard is a natural aspect of life. Especially for children, to be seen and heard is so vitally important that I cannot stress it enough. Being seen and heard is being accepted and loved. Being seen and heard is the foundation of good health and well-being. Good communication stems from this basic fact. Healthy self-acceptance and good emotional and mental health also stem from this. If you were not seen or heard in your childhood the healing must begin with yourself. Start by looking in the mirror, keeping eye contact with yourself and repeating - Your name, I love and accept you just as you are right now. This will help unearth the pain of being criticised and ignored. Release the pain when the tears flow and beating the pillows when anger arises. These actions are only starting points that will facilitate great change in your life. Addictions will be easier to handle and your healing journey has ju...

 Staying in London again for a few days of late October sunshine, I am once again reminded of the beauty and diversity of this cosmopolitan city. It's life and vibrancy are second to none. It is a joy for me to stay here in Wood Green, North London, a Greek, Turkish, Asian community that exudes warmth and a toughness that is humble and real, born no doubt from much risk and failure mixed in with the success of the families that moved here generations ago to open small grocery stores or restaurants, launderettes and kebab houses and they flourish today. It's in the air, making something from nothing. A pita bread filled with humous and salad is still the freshest and cheapest way to fuel yourself in lunchtime London for yet more walking. Walking is a great way to absorb the vibe and feel connected to this life that is so throughly amazing, it never ceases to amaze me how I landed here as a twenty year old Irish immigrant and  stayed for twelve years. A fluke decision brought me...

 When we realise that many things have symbolic meaning for us, we can start to unravel what the deeper meaning is, and also gain clarity as to what it is that is going on as regards those things that have symbolic meaning for us.  For example, a certain car can mean status. It says to all who see it - I've made it. Whether you have or not is the deeper issue and what 'made it' constitutes for you also is the deeper issue. You may be able to afford a fancy car but how are your relationships with your children and spouse? Have you 'made it' there? There is layer upon layer of meaning to things and most folk don't want to go there, unless they have an interest in psychology or positive thinking and the like. However people are often forced to go there and learn the skill of such self-reflection simply out of necessity. After all we may not want to take the time and effort to learn how to cook but we realise in the long run it is a life skill that will become autom...