Self-pity & Jealousy

 Self-pity breeds jealousy, spitefulness, and an attitude of ''you owe me''. Maybe you know people in your life that are ''takers'' - well that also comes from their self-pity. 

When one feels self-pity, it is because one feels deprived of something. What do you feel deprived of? The feelings of deprivation often are linked to food for compulsive eaters. The forced restriction of their favourite food is, straight away, a 'being deprived'  if I want to be slim. 

With Healing the Eating Habit, we do not deprive ourselves of anything, in fact the opposite is true, for an attitude of allowing oneself your favourite foods, as long as you are genuinely physically hungry and it is that specific food you fancy, then go ahead and eat until satisfied. Satisfaction is of the utmost importance in truly healing an eating disorder. So reassuring yourself that you are no longer going to deprive yourself - When you are hungry, you can eat. And you can eat your favourite foods, but you will no longer be eating them in gross quantities.

We are eliminating ''eating when full'' and when you really ponder it, wasn't ''eating when full'' a self-abusive activity rather than a self-nurturing one. To stuff food into an already full stomach is, quite literally, self-abuse. Like all addictions it is self-abuse thinly disguise under the ''this will make you feel better'' guise. Its hidden motives of weight gain and emotional suppression are clearly seen now and looking for a healthy alternative is the way forward.

Emotional resolving and and developing high self-esteem is the answer with any addiction and the addiction to ''food when full'' is no exception.

So how do we ''emotionally resolve'' self-pity and it's negative spin-offs jealousy, spitefulness and entitlement? Well, first of all - allow yourself to feel these feelings as they arise. Be non-judgemental about them. They are energy and allow them to pass. Do not binge eat / eat when full because of them. Ponder them. Look at what you feel you are deprived of - Love? Money? Beauty? A certain lifestyle? Nice clothes? 

Secondly - jot down, in a note book, what you feel deprived of and work through it and find something you feel you can healthily do to improve matters. Example - Save for a car, if it is a car you want. Do some on-line dating, if it is love you want. There will be some simple answers, and some will be more complex, but the main work is emotional and that is why I love affirmations.

Start with ''Every day in every way, things are getting better and better for me now''  Repeat daily as many times as you can. ''Perfect work now comes to me, in a perfect way, for perfect pay. I am abundantly blessed and grateful.''

You may not always believe the new positive affirmations but keep repeating them until you do. The negative thoughts are really only going to leave you feeling low. The positive leaves you feeling good about yourself - and isn't that what you wanted the ''love and the car'' for - to leave you feeling good about yourself?

An attitude of gratitude cancels out feelings of self pity. So, every day, simply think of all that you are genuinely grateful for - this will help with feelings of deprivation.

Remember Jealousy can be said to be the thought ''I want ........... but I don't believe I can ever attain it and I am less without ........  Fill in the blank with what you have been jealous of other s having. And then look within and see if you have a lack of belief of you ever having your own equivalent. You must not try and steal from another what is theirs obviously. Do not take your best friends husband - but know love and a good man that loves you can come to you. Do not steal your sisters car and money but know that you can have your own car and money. Now how do you go about getting you own car a money? A part-time job? Cut back on your spending? Stop seeing these things as what will give you happiness. Happiness can be developed from within yourself through practicing affirmations, or doing the work of Byron Katie, or following the outlines in my books True Slimness and Simply Full. 

Simply Full

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Simply-Full-Sofia-Bothwell/dp/1471650359/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=simply+full+Sofia+Bothwell&qid=1609239577&s=books&sr=1-1

So, in closing, do not let yourself be a slave to jealousy or self-pity either within yourself or from others, know it's antidote - Being genuinely grateful for your life and the ability to deal with it.

Zoom Consultations One to One or group Sessions Email sofia2227@gmail.com

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