Relating to Others

 Relating to others as you alter and change your eating patterns is something that can come under the microscope. Awareness of what is happening is a key tool in being able to navigate these times. 

Refusing food can be difficult for some. For example: a favourite aunt offers you a piece of her home made coffee cake and you refuse when you have never refused before. This can cause a look of disappointment across your aunts face that really makes you wonder how you could have done such a thing simply because you are physically full.

Disappointing others is not easy nor pleasant, but are you disappointing yourself if you constantly give in to the wants and needs (often superficial needs) of others at the expense of your own heartfelt wants and needs? This takes some weighing up. This takes a little tact, consideration and thought.

As in the case with the aunt and the cake, you could reassure her that it looks delicious but you have just eaten, and would it be okay for you to take a piece to eat later when you are hungry. You can explain that you are only eating when you are hungry and you too find it strange to be altering and changing your eating patterns thus, but are willing to see what benefits there are in it.

People will understand and if they don't then you are seeing a side of their personality that perhaps you never saw before, and can weigh their friendship in that light. When we love people we are okay if they are trying to improve their lives.

Of course there can be deeper issues of control, especially among family members or friends that have narcissistic tendencies. They literally have a strong compulsion to control others. It is another form of addiction. They are addicted to control. 

They won't let you be who you are. They will ridicule who you are. They will criticise you, and really, you often do not feel that good around such people. Again you can decide exactly how much time you choose to be around people who are too busy telling you, in subtle or overt ways, who you should be rather than appreciating who you already are or are striving to become.

Eating disorders can be the result of having had overcritical parents, controlling and domineering parents. The pain of that upbringing is what is being suppressed by eating when full. So now you can learn how to feel and deal with that issue and the emotional pain involved, give up the compulsive eating and develop a more distant relationship with your parents if that is necessary.

This is a journey, it is similar in ways and unique in ways for each individual that undertakes it. I offer one to one Zoom, Skype and Facebook Video Call Sessions £45 / $55 to aid and accompany you on this journey that I myself took thirty years ago. 

Email: sofia2227@gmail.com

Facebook: Sofia Bothwell 

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